The Bully Who Rules Bollywood, And Sadly Our Judicial System Too

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Salman Khan has been mum all this while about the controversy that’s surrounding him lately. Bhai decided to go all out and gain some Krida Mandal Gymnast’s sympathy by saying something that literally translated to this – “I work so hard, I did extremely difficult push-ups that don’t really require brains, so here’s a comparison to a raped woman because hey! dimaag maine gym mein hi chhod diya, so don’t expect sense bro”. He’s killed people and got away with it. He beat the shit out of his girlfriends and none of the Bollywood celebrities came forward to support the ladies. In fact, it’s safe to say Viveik Oberoi’s career graph went haywire after he stood up against Salman Khan and his multiple midnight phone calls (Vodafone to Vodafone is free at night, that explains everything).

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Salman Khan lives in his lavish house built over the crushed careers of many film stars who stood against him. Some willingly, some unwillingly. His car stood in his garage with no signs of people under it. Bhai had a daawat organized for the rickshaw drivers around Bandra because his PR team told him “Achha image girega”. 

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Bhai had planned everything. You might think he’s just a Bollywood star, but in reality, he’s a vigilante. Mumbai had a rising problem of people sleeping over pavements, and it was Bhai who fixed it by setting a great example. He just ran over them with his car because dude, “when you can’t move them, move over them”, amirite? He did something that no politician could do all these years, he brought a remarkable change in the society by giving people sleepless nights (literally).

Salman Khan at Blood Donation Drive at Bandra
Salman Khan at Blood Donation Drive at Bandra to compensate for the lives that were lost that night. (Jk,it was his driver, not him)

And as far as beating up his girlfriends and protecting them from ‘evil people’ is concerned, he did so only because he wanted to make them stronger. Aishwarya Rai continues to remain the most gorgeous woman the Indian Film Industry has seen and worked with. How would a petite woman like that ever get roles in films that required her to be tough. Salman made her tough. Duh!

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Anyway, like all his other allegations, Salman finally spoke against his new fuck up of the month. He said he never gave the interview, his body double who is also his driver and his spokesperson who sometimes tweets on his behalf made this statement. Thank God, we almost believed he was at fault. How could we? After all, he sells T-shirts. He must be a gem of a person! 

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His PR team has now decided to begin a new company called Being Saleman which will counsel male chauvinists who stand by their sexist, absurd remarks against women. Being Saleman will basically encourage men to sell their souls and all their self-respect to ensure they(the poor victims) have absolutely none when they make similar statements in the future.

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Btw, did we mention Anushka Sharma, Alia Bhatt, Kangana Ranaut, Sonakshi Sinha, Sonam Kapoor, all of these ladies who spoke about sexism, the existence of male chauvinists in the industry in the past tweeted about this fiasco too? It read “Watch Sultan in theatres this Eid, Bhai has worked so hard for it. He gave two whole expressions in the film” – WOAH.

You might have figured this article is solely a rant against Salman Khan, none of this really happened, but most of it did happen – Salman Khan is a Bollywood bully who everybody fears to stand up against. The man who makes or breaks a person’s future. The man who supports men like Sooraj Pancholi, who thinks taking bribes are fine, who believes that women in his films shouldn’t expose more than him and someone who doesn’t need a car to run over the dreams of many.

Fear this man for he puts the BULLY in Bullywood…

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Salman Khan, you’re a representation of what is wrong with this society. You’re an idol to the pests who thrive in our country. You’re a man who isn’t ‘man’ enough to apologize to people for passing that horrifying statement. Yet, you’re going to be a 100 Crore richer with your film release because Being Human is doing a damn swell job. Get those t-shirts printing.

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