I would like to begin by thanking you all to welcome me with so much alcohol and marijuana in your systems. Even though I didn’t ask for it, you still went ahead and cut cakes and spent thousands of bucks on delicacies just because you needed an escape from your daily puny lives, while the poor and the homeless continue to die in the cold of December. Hope your New Year’s celebration was worth the miseries of the poor.
I’m not against celebration. I’m not against escaping from one’s daily life. I’m against all of you pissing your money away and then putting the blame on me. I’m particularly against each of those individuals who inquired about other people’s plans for the new year’s eve.
To all those wishing and praying for me to be a good year, I’d request you all to stop putting pressure on me. I didn’t ask you to pray, I didn’t ask you to celebrate. I didn’t promise you any changes whatsoever and yet you continue to impose your false hopes on me, guilting me for your failures and miseries.
I will have you know that I will not succumb to your forced guilt on my conscience. I will not go down the same path as 2016 did. Thanks to your constant nagging and calling it the “worst year ever”, 2016 is now an alcoholic. Good job, citizens of the world.
Just because you had to put up new calenders at home does not mean your lives will be immensely better immediately. And that’s why I’m writing to you today, before y’all start labeling me as a force of negativity in your otherwise perfect and uplifting lives.
The world, thanks to your species, is going to shit. You’re expecting a positive change in your lives by doing the same shit you’ve been doing for years. You want wealth, luxury, love and security without having to change yourselves at all. You deserve what you get. If you have trouble understanding what I just said, try repeating it in your mind.
As if blaming your parents for your mistakes wasn’t enough, you personified a 4-digit number just so you will have a new entity to put all your blames on, because there couldn’t possibly be anything remotely wrong with you.
If you still don’t see how stupid your hatred for a non-entity is, stand in front of the mirror and say “what the fuck” 3 times.
Now coming to the number of people who died in 2016. An upwards of 2 million people died in 1944 during the second world war. With all your pretense of knowing about movies and history, you should know this.
No one ever blamed 1939 for the deaths of 69 million people.
It’s not like the whole of Europe started boycotting the year 1346 after 200 million people died from the Black Plague.
It should not take a non-entity like myself to tell your species that you guys are going to die. The ones who came before you will die before you die. That’s what happened in 2016 and that’s what will happen in 2017.
And the way you guys run your world, it’s a good thing your legends often end up leaving it. They deserve so much better than what your species offered them. With so much war-mongering, political and religious polarization and your borderline fascit governments, and your bigoted religious wars and most of all, your outdated moral compasses that make you hate one another, believe me, it’s a good thing that the best of your species go somewhere else.
Famous and respected people are going to die this year as well. What kind of world you give them in their last days is solely up to you.
And if your personal life or your professional life or whatever weird shit you’re into is not going well, stop blaming me for it. I’m a 4-digit number.
You’re clearly not working hard enough if you have to resort to blaming a 4 digit number for your failures.
So if you tell me one more time that 2017 sucks,